I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
