i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
