dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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