All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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