if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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