do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
