why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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