Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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