Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
