his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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