wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You are a genius and a whore.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize