Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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