Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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