I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
did you just send me my own nude
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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