I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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