im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
