so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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