There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
