If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
