It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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