Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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