I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
