Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I stole a fireplace last night.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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