I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize