Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(316): View more from Kansas

I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper

(785): View more from Kansas

He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.

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(757): View more from Virginia

i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work

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(704): View more from North Carolina

It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.

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(858): View more from California

I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"

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(646): View more from New York

They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.

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(512): View more from Texas

I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.

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(520): View more from Arizona

Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"

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