And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
So. Much. Porn.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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