I'm being pulled over???
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS