capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I need to stop coming to work sober
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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