so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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