I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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