they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I fill condoms, not promises.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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