i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize