We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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