Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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