sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
