I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
