I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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