if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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