I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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