I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
