So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
