She said her name was "party"
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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