Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
