I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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