Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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