Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

i think i have herpe

(1-916): View more from California

just one?

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(913): View more from Kansas

He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.

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(862): View more from New Jersey

this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming

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(705): View more from Ontario

Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this

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(646): View more from New York

Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.

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(416): View more from Toronto

You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...

Fav 6 2446 2003
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(519): View more from Ontario

We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.

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