How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize