i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
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She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
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I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.