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I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Randomize
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