she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..