he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
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I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
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If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw