Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
