since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I lost the right to judge tonight
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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