Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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