I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
