i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
