This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
