Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
