He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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