never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
