arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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