five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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