do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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