Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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