ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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