Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
