I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
