so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize