Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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