It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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