Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
