Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
